A Curious Girl: I want adventure in the great wide somewhere

Things I have in common with Belle from Disney's Beauty and the Beast.

- We both, for some reason, usually tend to attract people we don't fancy.

- We both tend to wander around in a haze, oblivious to the world.

- We both like books for their own sake, not whether they're 'good literature'.

- People tend to think of us as slightly odd, if not crazy ('she's not odd, just... what's a nice word for crazy?' - Jonathan. Heh, I have an idea for another poll...).

- We both have a craving for adventure.

And that, my friends, is the subject of today's entry. Adventure.

I went to the library today, dropped off some books and went to pick up a few. I got out I am David by Ann Holm (I thoroughly recommend that, by the way), which I'd started reading in there and found I wanted to read more. I remembered there was a park and some woods nearby, and decided to wander up there so I could read the book.

I love being alone in open spaces. You remember in Wizard of Oz when the Scarecrow sings 'If I only had a brain'? Something about whiling away the hours conversing with the flowers... Anyway, I sang that, but changed the lyrics to (aptly) 'Pretending I'm insane'. It's good to know there's somewhere you can be yourself... Even if 'myself' is insane :)

There is something that draws me to open grassland and trees - and places I've never been before. They're exciting, new, and often beautiful.

Jennie, who is also going to York, e-mailed me recently and told me she'd been to Peru. I'm not jealous exactly - well, not in a fiercely bitter way or anything... shall we say, I'm envious. I think it's good that she went, and I'm sure she had an awesome time...

'Adventure' to me, means ultimately an experience which gives you a new perspective, a new sense of awe or wonder. And it usually involves new people, new places, or both. Getting to know God is an adventure, going to university is an adventure, but sometimes simple little things are adventures too. Small adventures, but definitely adventures :)

You know you've experienced an adventure when you go to sleep with a sense of newness within you, when you've reached an understanding or an accomplishment that you never had (and, perhaps, barely expected to get) before. Sometimes it's frightening, but ultimately it's satisfying... Growing up is an adventure, sometimes it's a drag but new discoveries are exciting as well as daunting. I've had many 'little adventures' in my life.

Once Clive took Mum, Nicky and me to see his friend in Norfolk. Late that night, we walked back from a pub in darkness that was so black we could see the beauty of the Milky Way ahead. I didn't really know the Milky Way existed, or what it looked like.

The practice expedition we went on for the Duke of Edinburgh's award was an adventure - I'd never walked so far, just with a few girls my own age. I'd never seen so many bluebells, or attempted to cook marshmallows on a trangea before (and I learned one vital thing from that - don't!). I came back having seen so many flowers I was certain I wanted to be a botanist, tanned and cheeful even though I was so tired.

Girls' Brigade camp was always good, but the one we went to in Cambridge I learned that I want to work with children (as much as I like plants!). And that was an adventure - discovering new skills and new passions. I was a Squad Leader that camp. Awesome.

But you know what? I love those Michael Palin series (except the Hemingway adventure, I think that was a bit too involved...) where he goes to places - Pole-to-Pole, Full Circle, Around the World in 80 days. I love all the places he goes to (even Colombia, although I wouldn't want to visit it... "I'm just here to worship..." *winks to Christina*), but I think Peru was the one I was most captivated by - the Amazon, and the Lost City of the Incas. At school, they were going to do an expedition to Peru but it was cancelled due to 'lack of interest'. *sigh* But my dream to 'see the Amazon' (I wrote this on a list of my dreams for my life) was set from that day forward. I have a serious craving for a proper adventure, and the Amazon is it - Peru, Venezuala, Brazil - see the mountains, the rainforest, the wildlife, and the people.

I just found this online and I can even afford it (at the moment...). But - here comes the problem. And it'll probably sound crazy, but I'm sure he doesn't mind, but I don't think this is what God has planned. Yet, anyway. I have read a couple of books about people who went to Amazonia - I even did a project on Amazonia for my Biology Induction work. I've been excited by them. And I do want to serve God in a disadvantaged country - but I feel called to Africa - Sudan, Kenya, Nigeria - and not South America. Every time I've watched a video on Africa and seen the work people are doing there - and heard missionaries and other people speak at Church - that's where I feel drawn to. I see a place where my skills will be useful - where I can use my love for children and literacy, my knowledge of science too, to help people. Much as I love the thought of working in South America, I do not feel I have as much to offer the people there - many of the 'Indians' (stupid word, but only one I can think of), people I would like to meet and learn from, speak obscure languages and though I'm good at languages, I'm not that good. They have needs I don't understand. And aside from that, I don't 'feel' God's call there. I know that people there are also in need of literacy and aid... but Africa comes first. I appreciate I sound like an insane madwoman - how do I know Africa comes first? I don't really know, but it does. I feel I have more to give there.

Also, I am hoping to go to Festival Manchester 2003 and Soul Survivor next year, plus Soul in the City in 2004. They're my priorities for the time ahead. However I'm not going to give up on my Amazon dream. Well, not totally. It's in God's hands... When Malcolm spoke in church last week, he said he'd had to give up on his dream of managing a sports centre, for the time being, whilst he did a year out and a degree. But later on he did get to manage a sports centre - in his uni! God gave him that dream back when it was time.

And so, I think the big Amazonian adventure is not quite due yet. I think, as with my writing, God's got a plan he hasn't told me yet. And for now, well I'm scared enough about going to York :)

Random word for today: Goal: a dream with a deadline

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