A Curious Girl: Ambiguous feelings

Hmm. Packing for Soul Survivor was scarily easy. Now I'm wondering what incredibly important thing I must have forgotten... I mean, I've got clothes, food, sleeping bag, tent, cooker, Bible, diary (paper one. Very pretty, practically screams DIARY! though. More of a notebook actually, but that sounds boring.) Umbrella. Sanitary things. Ooh, didn't pack the cereal bars, will go grab them when I've finished this entry. But I have packed cutlery, crockery, washing up liquid, washing up bowl, scourers, matches... Even a book which I'm going to release into the wild. I got out lots of money and I've put some cool blocks in the freezer - I'll be taking a coolbag with me. Heh, just remembered I need a roll mat too. My sunhat is out - going to wear it tomorrow. I really do think I've got everything I need! Wow!

Nicola, I don't think I'll kill you just yet :) after all, you have to work when you're not on holiday, I only have to work when I am on holiday ;) I love uni...

Hello there MrJeff. Nice of you to join guestbookland too :) I think you may be right about the blokes at work. Funnily enough, after writing that entry and chatting to Matthew about it, it suddenly seemed much better. I think I've just accepted that they're all weird, I don't think any of them really want to hurt my feelings or anything.

Hello Bren! You're here! :D Brilliant. Always lovely to hear from you honey.

Well now, what to write. As always, I'll pretend that I'm going to keep a diary of my time at Soul Survivor. But I won't. Still, this year I'm going to try yet again, I'm sure I'll scribble some thoughts now even if I find nothing coherent to say. I feel rather odd about Soul Survivor this year. I want to believe in God - in fact I do, I've read too much and thought too much and experienced too much that I will not ever believe otherwise. But the whole thing about hell, and forgiveness, and all sorts of things don't seem to make sense at the moment. I feel rather lost. Jesus never said anything about homosexuality, but even if I am going to be painfully liberal about that issue, I still have to contend with 'eternal punishment' for the goats of this world. I cannot simply abandon one part of Jesus's teaching because I don't like it. That would be hypocrisy, my least favourite Christian trait. On the other hand, to accept something I cannot fathom or explain simply because it makes everything else simpler... that is hypocrisy too.

Oh well, better go get those cereal bars now :) See you guys on Thursday.

Random word for today: lucid

<< last entry ... next entry >>
top of page

Give food for free.