A Curious Girl: Angst fest

My workplace now has its own bar. At least it'll free up after work gym space :)

I now have a television (had a lovely day with my parents when they dropped it off, too). I'm dubious as to its value, since I actually watched some of Emmerdale the other day (my conclusion: it's better than EastEnders, and actually quite amusing). I did catch the news about Prince Harry in Nazi uniform before most people, but interesting though it is, I've been more concerned with the whole 'there were no weapons of mass destruction ever and going to war with Saddam was in fact a really stupid idea and hasn't made Iraq much better' story and Gordon Brown's 'Marshall plan' for aid to Africa. There was an interesting aside on how Uganda is doing well but Malawi is spending aid money on Mercedes Benzes for the government. I have to confess that despite my consternation at the ongoing violence in Iraq, I wouldn't mind getting rid of a few African dictators. As it is, I think it's just good news that I'm not a politician :)

As to my new year's resolutions (last entry): I don't have the internet, since good old NTL haven't sent me the disc yet (they're sending me the internet on a disc! let's hope it's the latest version of the internet...). But I do at least have a prayer partner. Sandra from my housegroup asked me (!).

I'm going home this weekend. Great Grandma's funeral is on Monday. I'm not really looking forward to it... Have been having rather morbid thoughts about the whole thing, deciding that I'd rather not be cremated when I die, but I hate graveyards and gravestones too. Perhaps I just don't want to die... I feel rather guilty about the fact that I'm looking forward to seeing Auntie Pat (I assume she'll be there) and several other relatives I haven't seen in a very long time. But there have to be compensations.
It's funny, I assumed it would get less surreal, but I still can't believe I'm never going to see Great Grandma again. I suppose it's a bit more real than it was a while ago, perhaps just because people keep saying things that remind me of her, but I wouldn't have really thought about if she hadn't died. I suppose as a family we're lucky - we seem to all, pretty much, live a long time and die as the oldest generation. Which is something to be grateful for, especially with war and disasters going on all over the world.

Becky, my friend from the work bus, is in New Zealand. I really miss her. I miss David, too, whose term hasn't started yet. I miss lots of things. It seems that apart from church, my 'real' friends are all out of town. I talk to Matthew on the phone a lot, which is nice...

Sorry, the angst fest is cut short. It's home time!

Random word for today: angst

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