A Curious Girl: God is pleased with me?

I'm home!

Yay. I went to church on Sunday... had a nice time. I went for prayer afterwards, told them about how I'm shy and how I'm dubious about the CU, and wanting Matthew's and my relationship to be honouring to God etc. It was nice to get some stuff off my chest, I feel that a lot of the time I should tell people I'm having a brilliant time and everything's just perfect. It's not.

I am glad I went to uni though. This first term's been very hard indeed in a number of ways, but a lot of good things have happened too :) Met Matthew, met my other friends, learned more fascinating stuff about biochemistry and had fun being independent. Also learned to make bolognese. *sigh* And learned a lot of things about myself.

Anyways, they prayed, and afterwards one of the women who was praying for me said, "I feel God is so pleased with you." The other (Vera, James's Nan) said, "You're doing things without realising!"

And I know that they could have just said this to make me feel better, but it still made me cry :) I've realised recently that I really don't have a very high opinion of myself - I remember talking with Christina once about how we sometimes see that God loves us but grudgingly. There's a passage in the Bible (sign my guestbook if you think you know what I'm talking about! I think it's in one of the Timothys) where Paul (I think) says that God knows we aren't perfect, but he uses our weaknesses for his glory. That is, he doesn't expect us to be perfect, and isn't intent on making our life miserable for every little thing we do wrong. When the woman (whose name I sadly cannot recall) said that - well, it's hard to explain, and makes me sound a tad barmy, but I was sure she was right and it's something I should believe. Not by being bigheaded and making decisions like God ordained them, but being secure in God's love and not giving up because I don't feel like I'm effective. Also, if I'm more secure in God's love for me, I can help people see God's love for them more easily.

Sometimes I think God is the biggest liberal there is... I mean think about it, if Jesus came back and went church planting, I think everyone would be openly encouraged to come to services. He'd be the most available minister there ever was - he'd freely give his time and patience to anyone, regardless of race, sex, wealth, sexuality. I think he'd have more time for a militant atheist feminist who's actively campaigning against rape and sexism than the sort of intolerant ultra-conservative Christian who only thinks to preach to the people who turn up to church (preferably well-dressed). Think about it... God is perfect... yet he loves us. He's liberal all right.

Ooh, and after church Joan, who hosts 'Afterchurch', came up and told me she'd prayed for me one day, like my name had suddenly occurred to her. That's cool :) I don't really know her that well.

Afterwards... I went and met up with Ricci and Duck and James and Robert (Chelle's brother) and Abigail (not Abi) for a drink. Aaah, that was nice :)

Random word for today: Friendship

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