A Curious Girl: Twenty thousand marks under a C

*searches archives* Hmm, how odd, I never mentioned my January exams.

In any case, the results came through today. For the first time since Year 6 when I came out 'average' in my English SATs, I cried when I read my results. I got a B in Chemistry, which is a bummer from the point of view of 'perfect As', but it was the D in Biology that really upset me - I'd got a C in the mock and I hadn't even revised for it (I'm predicted a B). Rory and Duck were there receiving results for Government and Politics and Chemistry, respectively (Rory got an A, much to his own surprise!). Got hugs from both. After that, I went to find Elaine, who successfully convinced me that it really was trivial - I can retake in the summer. So for a bit I went around singing 'Always look on the bright side of life'... kinda strange that it was Elaine, who I'm continually arguing with over being optimistic and not underestimating yourself, who knocked me to my senses soonest. She essentially said it was no big deal. It's true, apart from the hurt to my pride and the vague fear that I'm a disappointment to various teachers, and that my parents will lecture me (I'm not afraid of being a disappointment to them, thankfully :) ), it doesn't actually matter in the scheme of things.

Christina got a B rather than an A in Biology... we weren't really helping each other as I was annoyed at her being upset over a perfectly good mark, but my situation's a little better because I can get lower grades for uni. So absolutely no sympathy vibes were flowing... *Sigh*. Sorry Chris.

I phoned Clive at break. He made disappointed noises. On the plus side, my biology investigation is going well. At the moment, getting it all set up quickly is my main concern, and after staying in at lunch today, I got it mostly done. I'm growing cress seeds.

My mood would be better if we hadn't decided yesterday to cancel Invasion until the end of term. What this is meant to achieve, I have no idea. (Actually, I really enjoyed yesterday's session, but for all the wrong reasons, apparently.) I think we should keep up our relationships with the kids that go, even if they do cause havoc. I mean, what's it meant to be about, anyway? But I feel like we haven't achieved much. Or we haven't achieved much if we don't follow it through, anyway.

This afternoon I was down at the biology lab again early, and got another of Mr. E's rare smiles as I waited outside. It was nice since a couple of hours earlier I'd asked him for a retake form and was generally feeling like I let my teachers down. The biology teachers are generally OK about my grades. They're both pretty cool teachers :)

Without telling me, Clive phoned up school to ask if I could have my exam paper. I don't want to see it, and I don't want to dissect it. I just want to work hard and get a good enough grade in the summer, *sigh*. A C would be all right, I could still get a B overall, and if I do get a C, I'm into York (my offer's ABC, minimum B in Chemistry). I wished he'd asked me, instead of just assuming.

Oh yes, and Dr. A was being sympathetic all over in English. Then he suggested that maybe Wordsworth would ease our headaches, poetic paracetamol. He should win an award for being weird...

PS. I apologise for the title of this entry :)

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