A Curious Girl: Prayer Block

On Sunday, as is fairly usual, I went to Church. (As it turned out, not many of the yoof were there due to a praise party elsewhere! For the 24/7 prayer week!)

I saw Lara - she is so thin, it's worrying.

And, I discovered the big missing ingredient on my WWJD plan... Holy Spirit. Dave, our minister, invited anyone who felt they needed to restore intimacy with God to come to the front... I went, and remembered some of the things I learned at Detling... like the picture I had of me going to collect water from the tap - something I'd had to do a lot that week, and usually got asked to collect some for other people as well! And I realised that to share the 'water', I had to go get it, to spend those times with God.

When I was talking to Lara at Detling, I remember I just felt - inspired! Like God was right there, giving me the strength and the words. Now I've gone back to muddly uncertainty. And I was praying a prayer I suddenly realised I hadn't prayed in ages - Lord, more of you. Then I went home, Clive tutored me a bit, and then I went upstairs to pray. I felt heavy, blocked, distracted, distant. I'd turned my computer off, so my diary/fanfiction addiction wouldn't get in the way, and it was weird... like sometimes I catch myself surfing, or writing, or watching films, or reading, when I know I should be praying. And I feel bad about this. Yet whilst I was trying to pray, I felt almost the same way I do when I'm procrastinating with prayer, as if something's blocking me from God. It's difficult not being able to tell my parents these things, I think they've come to expect that when I have difficulties, Mum or Dad can do something about it.

Anyway, on more cheerful matters, I realised that my job has a very real, very good purpose in my life. It's disciplining me in confidence - I'm getting gradually more at ease talking to people and generally being friendly and helpful.

Today I went to the second week of 24/7 prayer in our area with Christina. It was really cool, the room was covered in verses and prayers and pictures. She prayed for me, which was nice, luv ya hun :)

I'd better go now, driving lesson.

Random word for today:

<< last entry ... next entry >>
top of page

Give food for free.