A Curious Girl: Coming home

I'm feeling... nice. OK, so I could be doing more work, but I'll do it once I'm finished here.

I had a long pray last night... got out some of the things that were really bothering me to God. Some stuff about being a big bad sinner, and behind on my work, and not feeling as good as I did post Detling. I mean, if your faith's not constant, where are you? I don't want to have to go get a spiritual fix every time I want a spiritual high... and being a Christian for the pleasure aspect would be... well, a bit hypocritical. Getting to know God has made me incredibly happy, but I want to do stuff because it's right not because it gives me the best high. All this reasoning didn't take me away from the fact that I not only felt less than cheerful, I also felt a bit pathetic in my faith... So I realised I had to talk to him. I then went to read my Bible and read this helpful passage... "So hold on through your sufferings, because they are like a father's discipline. God is treating you as children. All children are disciplined by their fathers... We do not enjoy being disciplined, but later, after we have learned from it, we have peace, because we start living in the right way." Hebrews 12:7,11. And I thought, yeah, it's OK to feel bad for a bit. To use a driving example, Phil sometimes lets me go a bit wrong so that I do it right next time, instead of needing constant assistance. I'm learning step by step that when I feel far away, nothing for it but to go find him again and not to insist that he pulls out the stops to come and get me when he's made it perfectly clear what the way home is! And when I woke up this morning, I felt like I wanted to pray.

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