A Curious Girl: Christian 'Union'

Dammit. Dr. J is my 'supervisor' (sorta like a tutor... I can talk to him if I have any problems and I have to go see him at the beginning and end of every term so he can check up on me. He also took my tutorials last term). He is a lovely person. So why oh why does some strange subconscious gene in me keep messing him around? First I was late for my first meeting with him because I set my alarm wrong, or slept through it... Next I was half an hour late for my first tutorial. Yesterday I discovered that I'd missed my first meeting this term because I hadn't checked for supervisor cards after Monday and Tuesday (I had meticulously checked those days, but his card wasn't up). Aaaaargh. Anyway, he e-mailed me, I sent a grovelling e-mail back, but he took two lectures and two practicals for us today so I did get to apologise in person. Heh, he's so sweet.

Dr. J (perfectly amiable) - Thanks for your message. (Thanks? Surely it was the least I could do?)

Me - Yes, I'm sorry about missing the meeting.

Dr. J - That's all right (pause, as he appears to remind himself that he's being overly nice)... Well, it's not all right... but never mind.

Dominic, who is also Dr. J's supervisee, was telling me about when he'd gone to see Dr. J and his impression of him saying 'Where's Helen?' sounded quite frightening... To be honest I'm rather glad I missed it rather than turning up late :)

Thank you Roger for signing my guestbook - sorry I didn't thank you earlier, but thank you very much for your input, it made me think. You're right, the main argument against war should not claiming that it is about oil or racism (I'm not sure that they could be totally disregarded) but the sheer fact that so many civilians would be killed, and that the attack would be completely unprovoked (doesn't that make us the terrorists?).

Thank you Gary the ChairBeerFairy for your kind award of a jellybaby, it wouldn't be because I said that Dougsoc was the maddest and best society on campus would it? :)

Sooo... I'm not sure if I'm going to get into CU small groups (Bible studies in little groups), or if I'm going to get out of the 'Christian Union' all together, join Christian Focus (Christian discussion group) and see if I can start a cell group. My problem with the CU is not so much their style (unashamedly 'Evangelical' - not to be confused with evangelical) because I am a bit 'Evangelical' in my approach, although I am a libertarian (*gasp*). It's more to do with the fact that they are so closed, almost completely undemocratic and, although possibly not meaning to be, rather unfriendly.

What can I say? I saw a poster for Christian Focus, and although I'd like to join a group with whom I can worship God foremost, I think discussion can be a way to do it, plus they were advertised as 'Friendly and Ecumenical'! Hallelujah!

It's suddenly occurred to me that one of the problems I have with the Christian Union is that I think CU should be a way to serve God, by helping others in their belief and by using CU as a basis for serving other people. Even a little CU like my old one ran a couple of assemblies encouraging people to do justice and be nice to each other and buy fair trade - we ran a cake stall/auction for Art for Mercy and Invasion (lunchtime 'club', or rather chaos, for Years 7-9) in which I felt I could get straight in, and even if it was in the most understated way, start showing a little love for people (Long time readers will know at least one of my failures on this... I'm too ashamed to link back *blush*). They're doing more good stuff now and I think James (the Zealot!) would probably agree with me (heh) that there was a lot more we could have done.

However. CU. Where is the serving? When I leave a meeting, I probably feel glad because of the worship and I have probably enjoyed the talk, but there is no discussion whatsoever. Even the small groups are run from notes created by the CU committee. No testing beliefs, no challenging to reach out, no space for our own Christian creativity to flow. There are opportunities for personal prayer in small groups, but I see no discipleship.

What's more, I even heard a member of the CU refer to themselves as 'Evangelical' where as Christian Focus are 'Methodist/Anglican'. (They used to be Methodist/Anglican, anyway). Where is the unity? I could deal better with their 'elected by God' policy and bias towards male preachers if there was some accomodation for other people's views... When it comes down to it, I know that Chris (Keith's Housemate) who is willing to describe himself as 'conservative Evangelical' feels more welcome in the Catholic society than Catholics feel in the Christian Union. What is the meaning of the word 'Union' anyway? Also I can't help but notice that short of actually accosting the committee in the meeting (you can't by e-mail) there is absolutely no way for anyone else to contribute any ideas as to the general running of the CU etc.

*sigh* Well, anyway. The Count of Monte Cristo is an excellent film, plus it has Richard Harris in it and he is brilliant! Makes me feel quite sad :( (he's dead now). I went to see it at the Student Cinema with Sian on Friday.

Also... I've got myself a dress for the New Year Ball (run by the Christian Union - they're good at some things :) Like handling their money. *sigh*)

I'm now debating whether I should go back and get a larger size. Matthew thinks I look beautiful in it (hehe :) ) but I'm suddenly overcome with doubt. I saved the receipt though.

Right... anything else? Oh yes, I went to another church on Sunday. It was small and friendly - the local Methodist/Anglican church where I go for Night Prayer - but a bit formal for my tastes. I generally hate all but the most necessary of routine, so I find it a bit difficult to focus on God when there's lots of stuff to read out etc. Nice church though, the minister (a woman!! hahahahaha!) was very friendly indeed and there was an interesting sermon.

I'm trying to decide where I belong church-wise. The church I liked most last term could be 'it' :) (student lunches! Actually it's not so much the lunch itself as the hospitality, the opportunity to get to know people, and the fact that the sermon preached was on something as practical as 'work'!)... But on the other hand, I like to go to the big church in town because I'm making friends with the people who go there... OK, when it comes down to it, I should go to the church which helps me worship God best, I know, and I'm coming out a bit biased towards 'me' here - to be honest, I don't want to have to go through making lots of friends again. *Sigh*

Random word for today: union

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