A Curious Girl: Back from Detling, squillions of good things

I just spent Saturday to Thursday in Detling for a week's camp and a Christian 'conference' to learn about God. Hence why I haven't been around for a little while... Nice to know that Lo misses me as she said in my guestbook!! Thanks Lo!! You're a darling.

I am feeling a bit ill and weak, from a complete mess-up in diet and not sleeping too well, but I feel that in a way it is a good thing, as God teaching me that things don't have to be perfect to serve him. On Tuesday I called Clive and went home for the night, just because I couldn't face a night of feeling ill and alone... On Wednesday night they prayed for me to be healed; lots of people were healed of stuff that evening, but nothing really happened to me physically - got the feeling God was saying something about what I was eating. However I talked to some people about how lonely and afraid it made me feel being shut up in a tent, knowing that everyone was around but asleep, and they supported me, for instance, Sarah (Chris's sister) said that she didn't mind being woken up!! And another Sarah, a Youth Leader from YFC, prayed against the loneliness, so although I was a bit bewildered, I felt loved anyhow.

I have learned so much this week and I'd really like the time to tell you all of it!! One of the really great things I learned was that God delights in us - he made us, and he rejoices over us. Yeah, so we muck up, but he really loves us. I've been living in a sort of fear that God is rather disappointed in me, and although he'll accept me in, it'll be grudgingly. But that's not true - 'When we confess our sin, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.' 1 John 1:9 NIV. Or in other words... 'If you were to commit a foul sin with every person in your street, and then you said to God, "I really am honestly and sincerely most awfully sorry," he would say, "Great! Let's start all over again." Marvellous, isn't it?' - Adrian Plass. See, I've known this all along - but God showed me how much he cares for me - I began to understand why we exist at all - simply because God wanted to create us and give us good lives, like we do for our children. Yes, he wants us to serve others and to obey his laws, but first and foremost we are children of God, and he's saying, 'Ignore me, abandon me, beat my Son up and kill him, do anything wrong and I'll still be passionately working to bring you back to good because I love you.' That's why Jesus died for us - not cause it's a bit boring in Heaven and he needs some company, but because he adores us and we hurt him as well as ourselves when we move away from him. But draw near to God and he draws near to us - he hears us when we're lonely and wretched, when we feel distant and we're afraid. I was telling everyone this yesterday!! I know it'll be harder telling my non-Christian friends at school, but I also know that there would be no point, to use an analogy, no point not taking a Grade 1 piano exam because you think that Grade 5 will be really hard. He helped me 'blab my mouth off' (!) for him to the people I know were hearing the message every day this week so that it will be easier to do that for the people who don't know him at all. I have so much more to say! And I've had some dinner in the middle of this entry, now it's only 8:17 but I want to go to bed... OK, two more points. Firstly, I realised quite early on this week that Detling wasn't so much about taking 'time out' with God, climbing the mountain top and then returning to our everyday lives - it was to prepare us for the things ahead, to help and equip us for the stuff that's coming; it's only a 'trial version' of the life he's preparing us to lead. I got a couple of good suggestions for dealing with some everyday problems - Mike King, a Youth Worker, suggested that when people need prayer, we can offer to do just a little one for them there and then - doesn't even need to be tongues, or anything dramatic, just plain talking to God about it while they are there; he also suggested that when we feel Satan (or 'him below' as for some reason I kept on refering to him as) is having a go at us, we could go, as the situation provides, to help/bless/give to someone, because in that way we're increasing the Kingdom of Heaven on earth every time Satan bothers us!! Wouldn't he just hate that! And the last point is, I wrote down a long prayer in my prayer book (I sometimes write letters to God - more distant but sometimes a little clearer) about what was going to happen at Detling, and although I'd forgotten completely of its contents, that prayer was answered. I'll post it next time I have a chance (Duke of Ed expedition, but if I'm still feeling like this I'll have to seriously consider not doing it, even though I need to for the award). Anyway, God has taught me a lot this week, and I've still got loads more to say about what he's done, not to mention everything else that went on, like the people I met, the food we ate... I'll shut up now. I'm off to bed...

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