A Curious Girl: Divine Providence (what a funny term that is)

I haven't done any Chaucer or Biology, so I guess I'll have to do them tomorrow evening. Ah, work sux.

Been thinking a lot about God and stuff.

Sunday with Helen McBride went OK, she doesn't want to mention it anymore, but she didn't even give me a chance to defend myself!! At least it's over now. I'd quite like to have Sally over here somtime. I'll think of something we can do.

Felt like a bitch for most of Sunday. Sally was annoying me and I kept thinking nasty thoughts. Horrible, horrible, horrible. We're very different people. She's into music and make-up, and I'm into computers and poetry and reading big fat books (OK, so I haven't read many recently!!). And then, there's the intelligence difference. She goes to a 'special' school, yet I've excelled in my grammar school in most of my subjects. I'm not boasting - this is true. It's hard having a conversation when we're so different. But I want to stay friends with her. I like her, even when she irritates me. I wish I was not irritated by her.

John E. got ticked off with me yesterday, heeheehee. Actually, I shouldn't laugh. Maybe I'm amused because he actually scared me a bit. Sad huh? I think it was the way I was constantly using the burette unsafely. Ah, everyone's favourite piece of glassware :-)

Nicky - it's a shame about Reading. And speaking to Lo did slip my mind. I would have told you, only I forgot. We didn't talk for very long.

As I said, been thinking about God a lot. I want to be closer to him, and yet I know that one of the reasons for this is so that I can be seen as holy. Good sides and bad sides. I want to be the kind of person that people write biographies about, but this isn't just it. I love God. I want to understand. Things are difficult.

In CU today, James said that we ought to do something for outreach at lunchtimes; it has been on his mind since Detling. We are getting lots of ideas for evangelism and generally helping peeps; please, please, please don't let them just be ideas. James said that we should go and pray about it separately and see whether we thought it was right, and we should. As Mrs Cook (Jane C., but this would only seriously confuzzle me) pointed out, "The worst thing to do is to do it because you feel guilty." I kept saying, "I'll do it, I can do a lunchtime." It seems so right to me. Amazing, helping people find Jesus and the love that we have found.

Wow, I'm sounding devout today :-) I already told you I want to move closer to God. Maybe this is part of it.

Chris said something about the CU being a support group for Christians, not an outreach group (which is why we need the lunchtime thing) and CUs fail sometimes because they try to be both. Oh, how true. I never saw it before, but this was always the problem!

After CU, I went to catch a bus, and saw Emily (in Yr. 9, a friend of Chelle, Saz, Abi, and just lately, me). She asked if I had money to get her home by bus. I didn't. She asked me to walk with her, and I remembered what I read this morning "Matt 5:41 - If someone forces you to go with him a kilometre, go with him 2 kilometres" NCV (although she hardly forced me!). I reasoned that I could call home, so said I'd go with her. So we walked and talked. It was quite nice. When I got to Gillingham, I went to the Bus Station. They said the next bus was at 18:01, so that was fine. I waited. A Twydall bus came in, went out. Another bus went straight past at about 18:05. I guessed it was the Chatham one. Poo. (Actually, I think I used a stronger word than that!!) Eventually, I phoned home, to have the phone answered by Clive who had had two hours work cancelled and so was at home. He picked me up. He told me I was very lucky, and I guess I was.

I've now got to go and get some sleep.

Oh and Mum reckoned that no-one would vote for Saruman on 'Great Wizards'. Hah!!

Random word for today:

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