A Curious Girl: First entry

Hi diary.

How odd that I should begin by talking to an inanimate, inaminate (enjoy that, biologists) object. How like me.

Nickie signed me up to this diary because she knew I wanted one. I like diaries but when I'm the only one who'll read them, I don't see the point.

Asimov once said, "What's the point of being a writer if I have to share my innermost thoughts and emotions with a mere diary?"

I agree with that.

How should I start?

I'm sixteen years old, I live in Kent, England. My favourite writer is Isaac Asimov, but I also have obsessions with other things, like dc Talk's album 'Supernatural' and the Scarlet Pimpernel.

At least I don't watch 'Changing Rooms'.

I'm a Christian, so I've got a God Fixation, to quote Petra, but coming in close after Jesus, is, of course, David.

He smiled at me on Thursday and I've been on a high since. I'm not sure whether these two are actually related, but I wouldn't be surprised.

David is one of the nicest people I've ever met, and certainly the nicest boy who isn't family.

Chris, my best friend, told him I liked him, so now I can't talk to him without blushing. Although he doesn't want to go out with me, he's as nice as ever. He doesn't really know me that well, so what do I do about that?

I keep thinking about Fidonet.

Fidonet is a free internet-type-thing that I used to be on. I made quite a few friends, and just recently I've been missing them. Especially, for some reason best known to someone who isn't me, Paul Davis.

I can't really see why. But then, I'm still in touch with Richard G (or madriki), Richard D, Eric, and Gavan (Nickie's boyfriend of course) who, along with Nickie, is friends with most of the other STUDENT people that I wrote to.

I quite miss PROSE&VERSE, but no-one ever really wrote in there anyway. Paul Davis and I argued for ages and ages and ages about Christianity, God etc, and even my atheist friends agree that he is a most arrogant man. But I still miss him.

I miss Paul West, too, but I learned so much about his general thoughts that sometimes I feel like he never left, and neither did I.

I liked Paul West a lot.

This is the sum total of what I learned about Paul Davis.

He is an atheist

He likes philosophy

He is married

He has a son called Nicholas, who should be three now

He is not a doctor

He likes science

He did not have cable last time we wrote

He read 'Mr. Twiddle goes to town' as a child, and likes Tolkein.

His middle name is Mark.

That's it. And how long did we write for? At least two years. What a terrific waste of time.

I know why I like him. I left off writing in VICARS about God etc, because I was fed up with the petty squabbles. My end mail had little messages for everyone in there, and Paul wrote back to me, telling me he was sorry I was leaving and I could write to him anytime to argue about anything :-).

So deep down, he was a nice bloke.

I miss him.

OK, I'm written about loads, but I haven't said very much. I'm worried about Sassy as she told me her eating habits and they sound rather reminiscent of Claire Beeken's eating habits, and she had a ten year battle with anorexia.

I'm worried a bit about Abi, but at least I know she's not going to get hospitalised. We found an anorexia web ring, and managed to get ourselves really annoyed.

We read most of 'Wasting away on the Web', and at the end I wasn't annoyed, just feeling sorry for the girl who wrote it.

Psychologists ought to read these sites.

What really got me disgusted was the stupid prat who wrote in and said 'I like thin women'.

Men like that ought to come with a health warning.

Mental disorders are funny things, because although we go on about disabled rights, with mental disorder patients we don't say there's something wrong with there bodies, we say there's something wrong with them.

The other thing is, I don't think there really is such a thing as a mental disorder, at least not in clear cut lines (mad/not mad). It's a slope, not a drop.

Anyway, we're all mentally ill.

On that thought I leave thee,

Helen.