A Curious Girl: Thought-provoking fluff!

So no one has flamed me after yesterday's entry. Phew :) I really hate writing about controversial stuff when I don't know if anyone will agree with me. Especially homosexuality, which is so personal (and surely we all have our own weirdnesses when it comes to sex and other things? Or is that just me :) ). Ian wrote a very nice reply, you can read it here. Or should I say <a href="http://motownjunkie.diaryland.com/020629_10.html">here</a>. That's how you do a link :) Christina also replied...

You gave some pretty good answers to your friend Ian. I just had this thought that the homosexuality issue is a clever ploy by the devil to drag people away from God, either because they are gay, or because they think to be a Christian you have to be homophobic... Being vege, I agree with your analogy. Sin is going against God, and if homosexuality is seperating someone from God, then it's wrong. You have to be authentic before God, and God alone. Not the church, not society, God. If you're not, you're choosing to go agaist Him and He'll respect that. Faith Foster told me at Spring Harvest not to let Issues get in the way of my relationship with God. I would suggest the same!!!

Thanks Chris :D

Anyway... today. Let's start from the very beginning...

Doe, a deer, a female deer...

No, the other beginning. So I got up this morning, watered Frank (now she's outside, she dries out a lot), got a lift from the beloved parents to my place-of-work (I worked today, hopefully last Sunday I work ever!), and wandered around the shops for an hour (I was a bit early!). I was suddenly hit by a thought. I want to go to an old and beautiful city. I narrowed it down to eiher Paris or Venice. I then got all excited and realised I could actually go if I wanted, providing I scraped the cash together, which I probably could. Go alone? But yes, what's singleness good for if not wandering around not having to worry about what ever significant other wants to do? I'm going to go to Venice if I can afford it. If not, Paris - I've been to Paris before - it shouldn't be too difficult but I want to go to Venice most :)

Because my parents were off having a nice day out, I had to get myself to church. Big problem being, no cash and little time. Plus I wanted to finish Ricci's 'Toast' script, I'd promised it to him for tomorrow. If I finished work at five o'clock, there was a big chance that I couldn't get to church and finish the script, so as I'd promised it to him, I would have to miss church. Unless they let me out early, of course. Sometimes they ask if I'd like to go home an hour early - today, if they did that, I'd have done it. (So I prayed that they would :) )

However they asked me to go home two and half hours early. The only time they've ever asked me to go home that early was when England played Denmark. Anyway, I said yes, darted off to get the bus... and missed it... grrr :) So I had to wait an hour, but I found a nice place to go wait, it was calm and I tried to chat to God for a bit.

I did get the bus, still much earlier than I would have done if I'd been let out at 4 o'clock, got home and worked on 'Toast' for quite a while, and then I phoned up this church I know nearby to find out the time of their service. I had to walk there but it was better than walking to my normal church (hey, it would only take about three hours).

(Ian, I'm going to talk about stuff related to my beliefs for quite a bit, so don't think too hard ;) )

Now I love this church. Whilst I'm a bit cosier in my normal church, you can't help but love this church. A woman not only greeted me at the door but found me a place to sit so I wouldn't be sitting alone... it was so nice :)

The first song was by Martin Luther... OK, considering what I said about him yesterday, I felt a bit embarrassed singing the song :) To the man's credit, he helped reintroduce the stuff in the Bible that says we are made righteous by Jesus and we can't become righteous by ourselves. I'll try and give him a bit more respect in future :)

I had a bit of trouble concentrating during the worship (oh yes, and when the minister said, 'Let us pray' I couldn't help but laugh a little as we all immediately bowed our heads in a restrained manner. I had the sudden urge to put my hands in the air...). You'll notice that earlier I said, 'Tried to chat to God' not actually 'Chatted to God'. I felt like that a bit again.

We sang my most favourite song in the whole world (this week ;) ) Jesus, love of my soul, and quite a few people had a word or a picture. Someone said (as if speaking for God), 'You seek understanding, my child, and that is good, but I want you to know that I am always close by you, wherever you go.' That really touched me, because I've been chewing over things a lot these past few days. Sometimes I have a kind of a mental gap between who I believe God is and who I think I should believe God is, the old, white man (from 'The Color Purple'). I get afraid that my search for the perfect philosophy separates me from the perfect God... But it doesn't. All true understanding is linked to him.

The minister said to hold that close if it was for you, but I don't think that was a word specifically for me, even though it related to me. However, the next one seem strike me very personally indeed :)

A woman said she had a 'picture' of a pot plant (that's a potted plant, not a marijuana plant :) ). As soon as she said those words I gave a big grin. Relevant? She said that she saw the plant as dry, needing regular waterings, just like we can't go to God for a quick fix but we need him regularly. I thought (but felt too embarrassed to confess to anyone!) that I've probably given Frank more waterings in the past few days than I've prayed decent prayers! Afterwards I went to tell the woman who'd had that 'picture'... she was pleased although maybe a little surprised at being excitedly affronted by a girl she's never met, telling her how her seed has grown into a plant, and into a metaphor that she hadn't quite noticed until now.

After that, Clive came to pick me up and I went home to make salad. I had to do it one-handed because I spent most of the time doing it on the phone to Ricci (discussing 'Toast' among other things!). I'd forgotten how much I enjoyed phone conversations with him, it's been so long :) Plus I never seem to feel like one of us is dominating the conversation, occasionally I get that when I'm talking to someone on the phone and it's uncomfortable. But I don't get that feeling chatting to Ricci.

I finished 'Toast' after dinner, so now my only holiday task is...

Writing my novel! :)

Random word for today:

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