A Curious Girl: Last day at work

I can't believe it.

It's Good Friday tomorrow.

I had a job interview this morning, an Italian place. Seems pretty cool, I have a trial shift on Saturday.

Last day at work today. Laura W. asked if I was leaving because I'm on salad bar all the time!! Hahahaha. In some ways, I'm really glad she said that in front of George, one of the managers. Perhaps they'll get the hint for employees in the future. Poor Kim, the girl that helped me out when I started, she's been doing all the same menial jobs as I have, and she's still waiting to be trained to work in the kitchen.

I was mainly working with Katie today. She's really nice. Do you know when you think of something, but the conversation moves on before you can say it? We were talking about revision. Katie's 16, doing her GCSEs soon. She asked me if I was 'naturally clever', and then jokily said that she was dumb and she had to work hard for these exams. The thing is, she's so friendly that I'm sure there are lots of jobs she'd be good at, even if she's not great academically. Only before I could tell her this, the conversation had moved on!

It's weird, but lately I've been feeling really confident. Like ye olde Shy Self has gone on permanent leave somewhere. But somehow it's also uncomfortable. It's like my humility also took a long trip too, I find myself snapping at people. It's like I'm confident, but it's not that sort of confident Christians mention in their testimonies 'I was so shy but God helped me conquer that fear'. In a way, that makes me feel bad. I think it was the revelation that I really am powerful in many ways that made me realise that I don't have to be afraid of people. That doesn't mean my shyness has gone away forever (expect something around July time moaning about having to start a new job with new people). It's just that this new confidence seems to be rather self-centred. Arrogant even. During one Night Prayer I remember reflecting that I had been focussing so much on overcoming my shyness that I hadn't really taken an interest in people. I had been consumed by my own fear. Well, not at first, because I knew everyone was in the same boat. But when close friendships started to form, I became so afraid of being left behind that I almost would have rather had popularity than done the 'right' thing on occasions.

And now... I don't know. I've caught myself being too possessed with my own ability that I haven't been focussing on how I can use it to help others...

Random word for today: procrastinate

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