A Curious Girl: Letters unsent

Dear Ricci,

You exasperate me! You were once rather indignant about my accusation that you were a closet nice person, but that was the day you showed me that you can be deep after all. You make me laugh, Ricci, but you also drive me mad... You're lovely but getting to that loveliness is a task and a half. I like being your friend, Ricci, but I wish you'd let me be one instead of finding myself constantly tackling your 'front'. I know it's probably rather provoking for me to demand to see that side of you once in a while - it's probably a man thing to be afraid of it, because, what do you know, I'm a girl and on top of it all, I'm Helen and it's a distracting part of my nature. I can't force you out of your shell... I can't demand you reveal yourself... But if you ever want to, you're welcome to do it on my turf. You're my friend, Ricardo, and I'll always love you.

Not that Ricci ever reads my diary (he does have the URL). Oh well, on to the next letter.

Dear Dr. A,

Thanks for being such an excellent teacher. In Lower School you were practically my hero. I had to rather abruptly take over the lead role in our play and I went around with a glow on my face for that day when you said I had 'rather heroically' (I haven't a clue how that word is spelt) taken over the role. Lessons with you are a scream, thank you for never patronising us and always being honest, and for seeing us as we are.

Not that Dr. A will ever read this diary unless by some weird chance he stumbles upon it one day on an internet search...

Dear Mrs., erm, Blah,

You always thought I was so talented. In your classes I mostly felt like a shot-putter continually asked to flex only my biceps. I didn't feel like my talent was being fully appreciated. This always bothered me.

Dear Grandma,

Your criticisms about my chubbiness and appetite depress me. When I'm depressed, I eat.

Dear Dr. C,

You rock! Because of you, I'll always love chemistry. Thank you.

Dear erm... no, I feel more inclined to leave this letter anonymous...

You worry me. God loves you so much, don't you understand? I wish you'd at least accept that you can find happiness. I love you, dear, you're a clever person but your life is what you let it be. Please don't just let it drift away from you. People care about you. I care about you. You're clever but the simplest of things eludes you...

(Chris, in case you're worried and wondering who this is, I ask you to pray for this person today)

Dear Abi,

It's great being your friend.

Dear Sara,

Likewise.

Now, for some of the people who read my diary...

Dear Chris,

Christie, Christina... Names are funny things. But no matter. You're a great girl of God, don't ever back down. If you ever receive trouble I'll try and be here for you, and God loves you no matter what. And... don't be paranoid! No one's perfect and you aren't above that! I love you, Christina, thanks for being a great friend and putting up with my moods.

Dear Steve,

Well, sometimes you play your music too loud... Sometimes you annoy me... but what the heck, you're my brother and I love you :-) Nice to know there's a guy of God in the house, keep seeking him and don't give up because *puts on Kyle Horner voice* (*remembers you don't know who Kyle Horner is* - well he's American and Charismatic, and a nutcase to boot, maybe this will help you imagine his voice) You have a destiny!

Dear Nicky,

Great to hear you're settling in, enjoy yourself and remember ickle me :-) Love always, Helen.

Dear Clive,

If you're reading this, you could at least go to my story site and read some of the stuff there (and sign the guestbook if it's up - it wasn't the last I checked) . And if you must read this diary when I'm miserable, try when I'm happy. When I'm praising God. Clive, thank you for all you've done for me, and I love you.

Dear... Is that all?? Erm... Well Lucy reads my diary and I've met her (a couple of times!) so...

Dear Lucy,

I think you're cool. And you like Monty Python, which is cool too. Take care! Plus you're one of Angelique's two fans. I don't count because she hates me. I will write more soon! Maybe in a year or two anyway. It depends on my inspiration levels... It's nice knowing you, so carry on being Lucy! Love, Helen.

Riiiight, is there anyone else I'd like to write to? Oh, I know!

Dear Richard,

You haven't e-mailed me since I sent you this URL. I wanted you to see my diary because I wanted you to see me as I am. But if you have seen this diary, it's obvious that you don't like what you see. I am sorry for this, but if it bothers you enough not to e-mail me ever again, it's your choice I suppose. I never told you I like red headed boys... if you ever do want to e-mail me, you'll be welcome, I like to have friends and to be a friend, but I won't be e-mailing you as I'm not intent on forcing the issue. Richard, you always made me laugh, and I'll be pleased to hear from you anytime, but I can only be a true friend if you accept the true me.

And last but not least...

Dear Keith,

Sorry I haven't e-mailed you in a bit, although I believe it was your turn anyway :-) I didn't bring many clog shaped objects back, or any for that matter, but we all bought matching van Gogh prints for some reason... then saw a larger version in Tesco's with a frame on special offer. Your e-mails cheer me, so send me some! And I really ought to get around to sending you one...

Random word for today:

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