A Curious Girl: Once again I look upon the cross

Hmm... I never talked about James' party Saturday. I went in karate kit and Stephen's black belt. Claire H went as an angel, Christina as a vicar, Sarah and Jess as cheerleaders, James and his cousins were Men in Black, Lucy was Miss Marple. It was fun.

I put my short story up on my story site. It's quite short and very me :) Ricci said well done and actually didn't sound sarcastic or teasing! wow! :) Mrs. H said well done today too, and yesterday and Monday she was still preoccupied with the Minnie Mouse Ears... She seemed really pleased, which was nice as she's not my teacher, but she is Sara and Abi's form tutor. Maybe it's because I was Mrs. T's 'pet' (not my psychology teacher, an English teacher!) and they're best friends, she probably knows all about me!

Today... assorted randomness. Mineral processing again in chemistry. Too much ammonia. I have a cough. You'd think one advantage of sulphur dioxide would be that it would kill evil microbes off but apparently not. Although it's most likely viral.

'Happy Easter' is a funny term. Our headmaster in assembly yesterday went on about Easter, how it came fom the Pagan festival. He seemed to think the combination was quite clever. To be honest I'd feel better if on this official celebration of the most important event in history, I didn't have to say 'Happy Pagan Goddess' to get my message across. When I hear Pagan sympathisers saying 'You stole our festival' I want to say 'You can have it back'. In fact, I do. Rabbits and eggs are all very nice, but they're nothing compared to Jesus - not for me! So as Diggers ended English this afternoon before lunch, wishing us 'Happy Easter', it just didn't feel right. It didn't have the joy of saying 'Happy Christmas', despite Christmas slightly usurping old Pagan festivals, and also being possibly the most criticised festival in history.

I find it a bit disturbing that Christians I have known (hmmm... James for example) are ready to ignore Easter as 'unnecessary' or Catholic, or commercial or something... as a festival which celebrates something which we should celebrate all the time. Yet it's all right to celebrate Christmas. If you don't celebrate Christmas, well bah humbug to you. Whilst I agree that we should be celebrating the 'Easter Message' all the time, I was struck in Faith and Light today by the freshness of this message I'm meant to be celebrating all the time - and how little we discuss it in depth. (more on this later!)

So I don't want to say 'Happy Easter'. A much more appropriate comment would be 'Christ is risen!' And just like I think it would be ridiculous to protest against the idea of having a 'season' of goodwill by not showing goodwill during it, I think that not celebrating Jesus's supreme sacrifice and resurrection at Easter is getting entirely the wrong idea. But I don't think that, for a Christian, eggs and rabbits and cute little chicks should be necessary. I mean, yes, appreciate God's creation. I'm very rough on Paganism, but I gather that's what many Pagans do too. And there's nothing wrong with that. But I get the feeling that the most important message of Christianity has been made somewhat of a farce.

Having gone off on that rather long tangent, I did wish a lot of people Happy Easter today, and invite them to the Faith and Light Good Friday activities. I even wished Mr. E Happy Easter as I handed in my slightly late Chemistry homework (only by a few hours!). He said, 'Thank you, and you.' I can't decide whether that thank you was 'I'm genuinely grateful' or 'As if!' *sigh* I analyse too much... or not enough.

After lunch, I had no more lessons and decided to go around Grandad's. Went to sign out, wasn't sure what to put. I mean, claiming I was going for home study seemed ridiculous (even though its what we Sixth Formers write even when we're just going down the shops), and being in the holiday mood, I rather wanted to write something like 'Going home early because it's Easter', but in the end I settled for the rather ambiguous ' Home "study" ' :)

I went around Grandad's after that, and spent most of my time reading Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. I'd forgotten how much I love that book :) I went to Faith and Light later on.

We were rehearsing in the church (not my normal one, but the one that Duck and Lucy go to). It's odd, but I do feel 'closer' to God there. I mean, not because 'the church is the house of God' or anything. I can wander around Cathedrals and not feel much at all - spend more time deciphering Latin than in spiritual communion. I guess it's because whenever I've been there, everything was directed at God - I find it easier to expect his presence there.

We were mainly rehearsing the Good Friday Play. ('Mime' seems too trivial, 'Passion play' seems a bit pretentious somehow). Even with the simple format, few props and only a few words spoken by the cast along with narration, the story touched me again. Jesus's pain on the sheer imminence of his death - his humbleness, that even whilst asking for the way out, he said, 'Your will, not mine.' That he was abandoned by his friends - even betrayed by one. That probably the same people who had cried 'Hosanna to the son of David!' were crying 'Crucify him!' The sheer brutality and pain of it. And the love he must have had to go through with it.

And once again I look upon the cross where you died
I'm humbled by your mercy and I'm broken inside
Once again I thank you
Once again I pour out my life

-Matt Redman

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