A Curious Girl: Reassurance

Something really cool happened on Friday.

I was home after a rather stress-generating (for me) meeting about the Duke of Edinburgh's award. I've done bronze and I'm halfway through silver. To do silver, I have to go swimming next Friday and do the expedition, which just happens to be just after my week's camp at Detling and over the weekend of Clive's birthday. So I can do it, but it couldn't be more inconveniently placed. If that wasn't enough, we're doing a fundraising event for the service our gold award, but I haven't even got my book for it yet. There is, therefore, practically no way I can do it for gold, so I was going to do volunteer work instead, but it turned out to be much harder than I thought, ie. I thought I'd just join Millennium Volunteers and that would be it, I'd have volunteer work. Only I don't, and getting to MV meetings is a bit of a hassle. And then of course, we were going to meet up to discuss a drama for our production for said event, at Claire's house on Sunday, ie. today, but it being Father's Day I did not want to do that particularly, and really should have said so, except I already looked like the one, disorganised and lagging behind fool, and I've no idea how the others are doing it. To top it all, Charlie kept saying that all she could imagine me as is a doctor and that wasn't exactly helpful seeing as I chucked that one out the window months ago. And then I got into the car to go home and Clive hit me with University Open Day stuff that I have no way of knowing unless I'm a memory master, and I basically told him my brain was fried. When he asked why, I told him practically everything I've just told you, and he claimed I was doing everything to please other people, and I ought to be working to help myself because no-one else cares apart from him and Mum. And, of course, he wants me to get a job, and if I hadn't so hastily dumped my hospital work, he wouldn't be doing this, and I feel like an idiot who has royally mucked up. When I said that I didn't know what to do at Uni, he said, "Enjoy yourself" which isn't exactly useful from the "Do Science!" man. He got completely the wrong idea - D of E is for me, I'm just not sure that it's worth the hassle. Volunteering is because I like volunteering, I don't just have a guilty conscience. Furthermore, our disagreements about God are completely grinding. He doesn't undertand that God has a plan for me and that first and foremost I'm doing what he wants. Sitting at my computer, failing to get onto my stress-relieving device (it's known as the internet), I remembered what Charlie said, and thought of how I'd been troubled over whether to be a doctor, and found that bit in Luke where the notes say that Luke was a doctor. Figured that if it was 'meant to be' I could do it again, grabbed my Bible, and found...

Luke 12:22-31 (New Century Version)

Jesus said to his followers, "So I tell you, don't worry about the food you need to live, or about the clothes you need in order for you body. Life is more important than food, and the body is more than clothes. Look at the birds. They don't plant or harvest, they don't have storerooms or barns, but God feeds them. And you are worth much more than birds. You cannot add any time to your life by worrying about it. If you cannot do even little things, then why worry about the big things? Consider how the lilies grow; they don't work or make clothes for themselves. But I tell you that even Solomon with his riches was not dressed as beautifully as one of these flowers. God clothed the grass in the field, which is alive today but tomorrow is thrown into the fire. So how much more will God clothe you? Don't have so little faith! Don't always think about what you will eat or what you will drink, and don't keep worrying. All the people in the world are trying to get these things, and your Father knows you need them. But seek God's kingdom, and all the other things you need will be given to you."

It struck right home. And thinking just now, I know I'm not a doctor. I know that God puts more reassurance into your chosen career than just a coincidenced Bible opening. I'm a victim of my own superstition. On the other hand, I was practically ready to cry until I read that passage, and the truth of it came through. Then I nearly did cry, because I'm soppy like that :-)

Daddy's taking care of me.

PS. I changed my imood to ok and my recommended book is 'Beat Depression with St. John's Wort'. It hasn't come to this, surely? :-)

Random word for today:

<< last entry ... next entry >>
top of page

Give food for free.