A Curious Girl: Exams are nearly here...

I have writer's block. I want to write a song but I'm writing cliched rubbish and I can't even whistled a coherent tune. I tried and it came out as a cross between Catatonia's 'Don't need the Sunshine', The Police's 'King of Pain' and 'My Jesus, my Saviour'.

Urgh. Do I have any original thoughts? I really ought to at least read something on Water Pollution. I revised Human Influences on the Environment for two and a half hours today, and managed to get myself thoroughly depressed. So I drew some pictures instead of finishing.

I wish I could draw properly. At least then I could do something when I have writer's block.

Plus, my guitar is out of tune and when I tried to tune it, it occurred to me that the nails on my left hand are all far too long.

It's a sure sign that I've been neglecting to practice.

I know what I wish - I wish my mother didn't have to keep reminding me that I'm not good at art whenever I mention it. I'm not bad at art - I have a fairly steady hand even if I'm not practised on technique. In her mind, you have to be brilliant at something for it even to be worth doing. It's mean of me to blame her for my decreased enjoyment of artistic pursuits; I am much more responsible for that than she is. It just annoys me that she can't seem to understand that I like art. I like drawing. I like my poster of one of my favourite Van Gogh paintings.

Sorry I'm being so negative. It's just that seeing how mankind is ruining the world (I also got a Friends of the Earth magazine today, ironically, just to add to that) and then being faced with my inadequacy in everything artistic apart from writing, and then having writer's block to top it off, does not make for the best mood.

Um. Well, off to do water pollution, I suppose.

Oh yes, and revision is annoying me because I don't do it in the way teachers are always advising we do it (stick every topic on its own A3 sheet, doing practice papers etc.) I'm just reading over my chosen topic and making notes. Works OK for me. But it's annoying me because I'm putting in much more effort than I usually do, and I'm getting annoying twinges that I'm doing it wrong and not putting enough effort in.

And Clive told me yesterday that he wanted my list of open days last week. Thanks for telling me Clive. I told him I had the list.

It's also now very obvious to me that it's exam season. Yes, I've started dreaming about exams again.

Helen is stressy. Time to take the depressing music off and put Delirious? on again. Or... Matt Redman. Yeah.

I'm glad God still loves me.

Random word for today:

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