A Curious Girl: Some musings on faith

Sorry I didn't mention this before, but thanks MrJeff and Rick for signing my guestbook :) Thank you too Sez, Mike Pilavachi does rock doesn't he? I can't look at double chocolate gateau without thinking of him...

Rick... Hmm. Good point. I confess, I do know that 'Jesus didn't say anything about such-and-such' is not an argument for condoning anything, but let me explain my viewpoint. As much as I respect the Bible, I am often inclined to doubt its infallibility - true, doubting the infallibility of the Bible is no excuse to ignore your least favourite bits (you can't use 'The Bible is not infallible' as an argument for 'All my favourite bits are true and all my least favourite bits aren't'). But, despite my doubts, I do believe that to trust in the divinity of Jesus we have to trust that he at least, got things right (and yes, I know he read and trusted the scriptures...). If Jesus said something, apart from the obvious debate over translation, there is no question. If Paul said it... well I confess, I am often confused by some of Paul's stranger commandments, like telling women to wear their hair long... I don't think the length of a woman's hair would have troubled Jesus particularly, but I make assumptions... In any case, whilst I do trust Paul as a man of God, I cannot believe that he is infallible.

You draw a comparison between incest and homosexuality. Strangely enough, incest is more 'natural' - many animals mate with close family members, disgusting though this seems... But incest has obvious dire consequences, children who are products of incestuous relationships are often deformed, for instance. And that's just the physical aspects of it.

My main problem with the whole homosexuality issue is not that I think it's a sin people should get away with, but that I don't see why it's a sin at all. It might seem odd to people who have never felt that way, but its oddness doesn't make it a crime. So what does? It does seem like an arbitrary dislike to me, it does seem like straining a gnat whilst swallowing camels - because I don't see the reason for it. Two people who love each other decide to express their love for each other in a slightly unorthodox fashion. So?

There was a speaker - Michael Ramsden, I think his name was - who was asked the whole homosexuality and Christianity question at Soul Survivor (Brilliant seminar, actually). I think it's pretty much taken as given at this point that if God forbids something, he must have had a good reason even if this reason is not self-evident, so he didn't try and explain why either. What he did say interested me. He said that people today are under the mistaken impression that they are defined by what they do (this makes sense, people with low self-esteem feel they have to do things to better themselves - whereas the most secure people I know realise that they are who they are whether they do a little or a lot - it's essentially the jump from sinner to Child of God). Christians have a sensible although somewhat naive view that they should 'hate the sin, love the sinner'. But homosexuals feel that if a Christian hates homosexuality, they hate them. Christians are challenging who they are, not just what they do. Actually I think a lot of Christians do, subconsciously perhaps, judge people for what they are, not that they do. It's our job to see everyone as God's creations, not a product of behaviour. The speaker said that there was much more to a person than their sexuality. True.

Finally, he said that change is possible. I.e., God's power is sufficient to help a homosexual person to change their sexuality. And that it has happened. Actually I know that it must have at least appeared to have happened, I saw it plastered a story all over a Christian magazine once. Which does interest me.

I suppose my general attitude is that I have reached a decisive state of don't-know :). The church has done a lot of harm meddling in this issue - what I really think we need to do is welcome people where they are, and let them pray and decide where they stand with God on the issue.

On a side note, I recant, I don't think God did destroy Sodom and Gomorrah just because they were gay. There's a marked difference between raping angels and being in a loving same-sex relationship - I think they were more a hedonistic bunch, otherwise I think there would have been something a bit more concrete like "All the men are sleeping with men so I'll destroy them".

It's interesting how you say that all sins are equal, because I think the church is guilty of condemning homosexuality, witchcraft (from actual witches to those who've read the Chronicles of Narnia), drunkenness, sex before marriage etc - without condemning materialism, greed, selfishness, dishonesty, ignoring the poor... We plead 'all sins are equal' as an excuse to tackle minor issues rather than the big problems. Didn't Jesus remind a Pharisee (quoting from the Old Testament, actually) that God wants kindness more than animal sacrifices (which are commanded in the Bible, Exodus I think). It makes me wonder whether we deceive ourselves that one good act is as good as any other - so we can dedicate ourselves to fasting, abstaining, tithing, praying, praising*, without worrying about the more troublesome aspects of Jesus's teaching - giving to the poor, going the extra mile, turning the other cheek. Sorry if I've somewhat got off the original topic here, Rick, but you did that fatal thing and signed the guestbook with something that made me think... :)

But I think we're quick to condemn a homosexual Christian as 'not a real Christian', when we are sinners, just as bad as them, and we have been guilty of ignoring commandments with far more monumental effects on those around us. We make a hierarchy of people, we put some on a pedestal and some in the gutter. If someone loving, caring and mature was made a Sunday School teacher, and then found to be a homosexual, chances are they'd be out within a week (there might even be a paedophilia implication attached too). If the same person was discovered to download MP3s of their favourite music instead of buying it (which is stealing, I seem to recall there's a commandment about that...) do you suppose it would even get mentioned in the next Elders meeting?

Being back from Soul Survivor is hard. It's not like the situation's any different to how it was when I left, but now I want to try and be better. The trouble, in part, is that I'm now somewhat embarrassed to confess that I'm a Christian to people at work. To be honest, I'm scared that I can't live up to the label. "You a Christian? Yeah right!" Also it's so much harder to pray. When everything and everybody is focused on God and learning more about him, popping off to have a chat with the Big Guy seems the most natural thing in the world. Now it's... weird. In case it isn't obvious to everyone I somewhat... abandoned... my faith to a great extent. Now I don't want to turn into Obnoxious SuperChristian, but I do so very much want to be a little more like the person God created me to be. You see, we're often so caught up in how little and limited and pathetic we are, but that's not true at all. He gives us power to be so much more...

* Not that there's anything wrong with prayer and praise, these are both very good things! But when they are done for the show of it, then there's no point.

Random word for today: loquacious

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