A Curious Girl: Soul Survivor and cookies

I don't mean to get any of you guys scared, but I have a feeling this diary may be on the way out. Or I may password it. The trouble being too many people know about it. Which would be OK if they were all scattered at far edges of the globe, but I keep wondering if someone from my uni will find it eventually, and that means I can't write my opinions and views of the people around me. It might be time to use aliases...

Something I keep thinking about and forgetting to write about - the other day I went downstairs with Shiv and Sarah to one of the other corridors, where guys like Andy and Ian (who you don't know, but this diary is for me too :) live. Shiv decided she was going to do their washing up, so amidst a bit of mocking she actually did it. Crazy. About halfway through, she appealed for someone to dry up so she could wash some more plates ('Has she been drinking?' someone said), and Sarah reluctantly grabbed a teatowel. I was going to leave them to it, then I though, hey it's been ages since my last random act of goodwill... So I grabbed a teatowel too and started helping out... It was fun... Weird but fun. Do a random act of goodwill today :)

Soul Survivor came to York yesterday! Yay. Mike P. talked about being in the desert. I thought he was going to talk about the Holy Spirit, and he did, but he focused more on how after being filled with the Spirit, Jesus was led into the desert... It was one of those talks I really needed to hear, feeling rather like I'm still in a desert place with God. He said how God brings us into the desert to remind us that we need to rely on him, and him alone. That when we're in the desert, God hasn't abandoned us.

Anyways, I also got prayer. I can't describe quite how or why I felt better, but I did (and still do :) ). I let God into my heart, into every area that's troubling me, some which are too embarrassing to record in this diary... Tried to find him through the confusion, and that's when I felt more peaceful. He's in charge. It's good :)

When I got back, I met Sarah, Liz, Catherine and Jeremy (a Californian who thiks he gets asked about twice a day why on earth he came here if he lives in California!) in Jeremy's kitchen. He was making cookies... mmm. Then we went on a tour of the block, and met some interesting people, although we never got to go to the infamous third floor. We ended up in a kitchen with a bunch of drunken men, one of which kept insulting Americans, although not very sincerely. Jeremy's so sweet, didn't take it to heart. Good for him. :)

*sigh* Although I went to bed feeling a bit troubled. I dunno, at the end of the night I felt I'd made a bit of an idiot of myself, getting all paranoid that I sound like a total loser. Cath was joking and saying how she doesn't like Liz and I just tag along, and it would have been funny if I didn't feel like I just tag along, and I ended up feeling... discontent.

I woke up this morning (well, later this morning) feeling rather downhearted. Listened to my Soul Survivor CD, rather wished I was 'back home', wondered if it would all get too much and I'd have to go home, and then I figured that even if going to uni is hard, and it takes so long to make close friends - even if it is, I might as well do it now, because if I give up now it'll be harder later. If you see what I mean.

So I'm feeling better with God but still a bit pants in other areas. I think it'll be OK, however... Actually I know it'll be OK. I just don't know how yet...

'I will allure her into the desert,' says the Lord, 'and there I will speak tenderly to her.' Hosea 2:14

Random word for today: Befriended

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