A Curious Girl: Things that strike me funny

Hiya! Just got in from work. About halfway through my shift I was asked to go buy some toilet roll from a nearby shop... lol, weirdest thing I've ever done in the name of work. Perhaps it's just my sense of humour, though, the woman at the till barely gave a smile... Surely there's something bizarre about a girl very obviously in work uniform buying sixteen rolls of toilet paper?

Stephen (my brother) moved out today... his house is lovely. I think I'm going to miss him :( but he says I can come around and crash every now and again... and the spare bedroom has a double bed!! :)

I drove to Tesco's today... I didn't drive back because I was really tired and it was affecting my driving. Mum and I talked about some interesting things... Hopefully she won't mind if I retell our conversation here (Clive, like all nosey *ahem* concerned Dads, reads this diary). Warning - probably certificate 12/PG13.

I was driving around the car park, saw some pedestrians cross over, and squealed, 'Ooh, targets!' (Don't worry, I'm always like this, I only act insane, honest)

As I turned a bend, Mum said, 'Ooh, baby target!' Where upon I told her to shut up. I love gorgeous little babies :) In fact, I enthused about them for ages as we got out of the car, and went to get the trolleys...

Then she said, 'That reminds me, I've got to talk to you about something...'

'What?'

'I'll tell you when we're back in the car.'

She didn't look pleased. What had I done? We went our separate ways - I got the fruit/salad and she got the other stuff... so I was wandering around, wondering what on earth was troubling her.

I could, however, think of only one solution to that puzzle...

That she was pregnant. Much as I'd like a little gorgeous brother or sister, I doubt that she and Clive want another eighteen years looking after a kid when in October they'll be rid of all the ones they've raised so far.

We stopped off for some tea, and then went to the toilet. There was only one free, so she went and I mused at the Durex. Did you know that 'Durex' is a brand of sticky tape in Australia? As I was washing my hands, I told her, in my very poor imitation of Paul Hogan (or maybe the Crocodile Hunter...) 'Look, mate, sticky tape in toilets!'

I appreciate that my jokes are really really dire. But instead of displaying no amusement whatsoever, and telling me to shut up, she displayed no amusement and said, 'And don't you forget it.' Looking more annoyed than even that attempt at a joke deserved.

'Sorry... Are you all right? Am I being a bit much?'

Pause. 'It's not your fault.'

By now, if my brain had jumped to any more conclusions, it could contend in conclusion-jumping event in the Olympics.

I didn't think it was that likely, but she's very probably still fertile... and after that remark about the condoms...

So when I was in the car, I said, 'So... what were you going to tell me?'

She sighed, reluctantly. Oh my, she is, she really is!

'Clive thinks I should take you down to the family planning clinic and get you put on the pill.'

What? Not quite knowing whether to be relieved or angry or what... I mean, come on, I'm celibate, and I don't even have a boyfriend.

'But I said...'

Hey, she stuck up for me!

' "She'd forget to take it." '

I'm not sure whether Mum was expecting the reaction she got. Namely me cracking up completely. 'Thanks Mum,' I said, whilst cackling madly... 'Of all the things you could have said...' I mean, 'No dear, I think we can trust her.' Or, 'No, that's really her business.' Or, 'No, there are side-effects and it's not worth it when she's not planning on doing it anyway.' But 'She'd forget to take it.' A practical argument that cuts straight to the point.

'It's true, isn't it?'

Well, firstly, I'd refuse to take it. I'm not going to suffer side-effects and the sheer annoyance of having to take the damn thing just so that the invisible man doesn't get me pregnant... But even if I did, yes, I'd forget. Mothers are so annoyingly perceptive like that :)

The whole conversation sort of degenerated after that. I was laughing far too hard to talk properly.

However... yes my friends, I'm planning on remaining a virgin until I'm married. I wouldn't take the pill - it might even prove a temptation. Yet I'm proud of my Mum for talking about it. She says I'm vulnerable, and whilst I'm a little irritable about that description, it's true (She advised me to have some condoms - although frankly if I get to the stage when I think I'll need them, I'll buy some then). I know I don't know everything about the world and as yet I've never been in the position where I could have sex (there, I said it, aren't you proud of me :) ) so it's hardly been an act of strong willpower to get myself this far. I appreciate her concern - because she of all people knows what she's talking about.

Still, I can't help but admit that I'm a little disappointed I'm not getting any more siblings :)

As I was wandering around Steve's new house today, I was struck by the whole conflict I have... I have a desire for my own space, to find solitude somewhere in the craziness. Yet after a while I find solitude overbearing... I need people.

Thanks Sarah Joy for your guestbook signing :) I only read one Sweet Valley Book... I tend to assume that long series written by multiple authors are not the most intellectual of reads... call me vain, but I'm usually right :) I think the trouble is that the series (or serieses :) ) are the things that give the rest a bad name. I can't stand books with poor plots, or that patronise the reader... I think my real pet hate is when they assume that all we teenagers (heh, I can still say that for a year and a half) are shallow and interested only in clothes, parties, and physically attractive members of the opposite sex...

However... there are some good teen books out there! There really are :)

Apologies to anyone expecting an e-mail from me. It's not personal, I'm being this inconsiderate to everyone *sigh*... I can never think of anything to write. (Ludicrous when I fill this diary with so much bumf, but there you go! Apparently social contact is not one of my fortes) Anyway... send me threat letters or something... But stay away from the voodoo.

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