A Curious Girl: Trip to Oxford, something to improve!

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I had a lovely weekend in Oxford (it's WARM down south!). It's nice to see Christina again, we talked about unis and God and it was nice to get things about my Christian life off my chest to someone I know understands :)

At church we sang 'Amazing Grace', which was odd because the last time I sang 'Amazing Grace' I was at Soul Survivor and crying my eyes out. I was singing it at church with a big smile on my face. I'm feeling quite peaceful at the moment... Lately I've begun to understand how gentle God is, carefully prodding us in the right direction. He's so faithful, it seems that even when I feel helpless and like a bit of a ratbag, he's still there.

Sometimes it feels like I'm on a great mountain where the top is holiness and God is waiting at the top, patiently waiting for me to get there. I imagine that he's happier as I get closer, maybe even cheering me on - but that's it. He stays there on his holy mountain and I, the little mountaineer, am trying to get up it.

However that's not right at all. He sought me out - he's seeking us all out - no matter who we are or what we've done, he really wants us by his side. It's wonderful. In fact, he's already by our side, hoping that we'll look around and see him, say 'hi' and let him help us out. I don't need to be afraid... it's great. No one needs be afraid.

That said, recently I've realised something I really ought to work on. I'm bossy and I have an awful temper! :) You, readers, might not have realised this because you have only the more measured tone of my diary entries to go by - although on the other hand you probably would have realised this by some events I've mentioned... but when I want to be, I can moody, unpleasant, snappy and superior. Not all the time. But sometimes, and it's not right, it makes people feel bad about themselves or it just makes them angry too. I guess partly I've realised this because I've lately begun to understand that I have an effect on people. I've barely realised this before, I mean I have to some extent, but not how profound it can be. I think I have Matthew to thank for helping me realise this because I obviously have a profound effect on him :) (Aaah, I missed him over the weekend, it was good to get back and have hugs :) )

So... you could pray for me, that would be nice :) And maybe I should give evening primrose oil a try ;)

Random word for today: quixotic

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