A Curious Girl: The unfinished and useless authoress

Living here is like living with the Stress Family Robinson. Everyone is lovable but volatile! I'm trying to relax and all I get is tidy your room sort your books out revise do homework revise and do all of this before you go out. It's so damn annoying! I mean, your points are valid but give me a break, dear parents of mine, I don't need to hear it every time I talk to you!

Sigh. Enough of that.

Right what first? How about my great unfinished novel, as I've been giving it a lot of work these past couple of days. The files associated with it all have their own folder as well as extra writing and organisation going in. It's so fun :-) I love writing this story, it's like a short story but ten times more interesting. I don't see why David Eddings acts like it's such a lot of hard work and not really worth it unless you're really obsessed. Well, I must be really obsessed :-) Hard work is not hard when you enjoy it, the yoke is easy and the burden is light. Where have I heard that before?! I just love writing. I'm so glad God made me a writer, even though sometimes it's the only thing I'm certain of, and sometimes I just get depressed because I ought to be a publishing writer! But then, I am. I mean, you're reading this now, aren't you?

Haven't bored you to death yet have I? I'm feeling rather soothed now, as at last I'm alone and my most relaxing CD (Amazonian Dreams) is playing.

What other stuff have I not mentioned in a while?

How about God? Maybe I should be ashamed that I put him second place to my novel :-) but if not for him, my novel wouldn't exist and neither would I. Yesterday's service was great, you could tell that everyone was getting really inspired and David even changed the programme there and then. So we didn't have to watch the video after all, which was pretty great because you can't really come out of Church feeling inspired after watching a video for half and hour. I've been feeling pretty useless lately - did over the weekend and had a bit of a relapse today. I flicked through my Bible for a bit after finishing off some Chemistry and found myself in Ezekiel. Ezekiel, I thought, they were talking about him in Church. Something about 'dry bones becoming as flesh'. Dave used it to illustrate resurrection power, and asked us to find that power again in our own lives where we think relationships are dead. I immediately thought of Crystal, who gets the same buses as me to school in the morning and lives really near me. When I realised she lived so near, I thought it was such an opportunity to make friends (and share God's love with her, if that does not sound too textbook evangelism-ish), but I was always too shy to talk to her, even though we are in the same psychology group. Once our first bus was really late and we waited together for the second one and actually talked. We remained on conversational terms until the conversation ran dry, and now we don't even say hello. (Although I saw her with Joe today when I was walking home and said hi to them both) Anyway, I've been dying to at least be on friendly terms, because we keep ignoring each other and it's ridiculous. I think she's as shy as I am, and we don't have very much in common. But I would like to be friends with her!!

As for Ezekiel, I searched for the 'dry bones becoming as flesh' and there was a life file in my Youth Bible about discouragement, and a verse. I'll quote it for you.

"I can do all things through Christ, because he gives me strength." Philippians 4:13.

I wrote it down and pinned it to my notice board, sat down to indulge in more of the escapism I call my unfinished novel and had the sudden desire to do my psychology work. It isn't finished, but there's quite a lot done, so I don't feel like I've got so much work to do now. Isn't that cool? (Well, I think so anyway)

Went to 'the Noise' meeting, but I don't know how much I can take part in, and so I was rather depressed. For one thing, there are meetings I might just not be able to get lifts to. (This probably had a part in me feeling useless) Does God want me in the Noise? It's just occurred to me that if He does, I'll be able to go, and if not, I won't. A pretty easy way of telling :-) I guess I just have to accept that it's in his hands.

I really ought to pray more.

Don't know what I'll be doing this holiday. My volatile parents are making it difficult for me to concentrate on anything leisure related (yeah that's right Helen. Blame it all on them!) But I think I'll e-mail all my friends apart from Abi (who I'll phone) and see what's going on and what we could do. Seeing Bridget Jones would be cool.

Random word for today:

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