A Curious Girl: The man of my dreams

I had a strange dream just before I woke up (on the sofa, as Nicky was sleeping in my bed).

The psychology entry will help here if you know nothing about Carl Jung (after the long passage in which I delve into my subconscious)

OK, basically pre-assumed facts in the dream were these - my school is as it is, and I'd just finished a Scarlet Pimpernel book. Or Something. As in most of my dreams, everything in the book also happened in real life (The Scarlet Pimpernel is a fictional enigma of the French Revolution, who saves aristocrats and others caught by the Committee of Public Safety and condemned to the guillotine, for those of you who don't know). The plot was as The Elusive Pimpernel to about the point where Chauvelin has challenged Sir Percy to a duel, knowing he is the Scarlet Pimpernel (sorry if I've just ruined the plot for any reading The Scarlet Pimpernel) and wishing to trap him by making him come to France, as dueling is illegal in England. Later on in the book, Percy's beloved wife Marguerite is duped into following him, captured and held to force Percy to surrender himself to Chauvelin. But I wasn't at this point, instead I managed to twist up the story so that Chauvelin turned out to be a vampire. In an odd kind of way (a bit like 'Mona the vampire' for anyone sad enought to watch it) he would remain perfectly normal at daytime, but at nighttime he would be exposed. Everyone was really shocked and horrified, and then Chauvelin said that Percy, too was a vampire, as they had a common ancestor (very Star Wars that). Percy said the thing about the common ancestor was a lie, but, although he was stronger than Chauvelin and could keep it under control, he too suddenly became a vampire. Percy, unlike Chauvelin, could change at will, like a werewolf, but the alternate form haunted him so much, he hated himself in it, and remained human as much as possible. However, all the taunting from Chauvelin had goaded him into it, and he couldn't help himself. Marguerite, of course, supported him still.

Then I was at school, and there was chaos, as Chauvelin, in very similar methods to the heir of Slytherin in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets was terrorizing the school. I diverted onto more school-ish matters, and overheard Digby R (English Lit teacher) telling some uniform kids in the Sixth Form block that they'd have to see Jade Atkins as she is head girl. I spent a lot of time wondering how Jade got to be head girl, as she is in the Lower Sixth like me (Americans- that's equivalent to Junior year). I realised I must have missed the Prefect elections, and never got to put my name forward, so I never got to claim my vote from David. I was thinking this walking along the same route I walked with David when he told me he'd vote for me, on the last Tuesday of term. Digby R told Christina and me that there was a Sixth Form lesson in another room, not our normal one, but when I got to the room, Christina seemed to have disappeared and there were only a bunch of uniform kids (Years 7-11, don't ask me which).

There was a brief interlude in which Jade Atkins was bossing me around.

This must have been distracting me from the main crisis, that there was a vampire terrorising the school in the manner of Slytherin's heir. Sir Percy was back, anxiously searching out his dear Marguerite, and realising that there was no way he could save her from Chauvelin. And then he realised that he could become a vampire - he'd vowed not to do it ever since exposng himself in Richmond, but the situation was dire, and he knew he could over-power Chauvelin because Chauvelin would only change at night (so how was he terrorising my school?? Who cares?) Then some loud person woke me up. Doesn't really matter though.

So here are my theories - the vampire idea is the shadow (Carl Jung's personification of our bad characteristics). Darren E (psychology teacher) actually said that the vampire was probably the most common symbol of the shadow. So it is both Chauvelin's and Percy's shadow. Chauvelin has to succumb to these bad characteristics, because he is essentially evil (and he is in turn the representation of my shadow - the odd thing is, it fits so well, and yet until now, I have given my shadow female characteristics. But Chauvelin is maybe another representation. He fits with Percy anyway) Percy is essentially good, and so bad things only overcome him occasionally and he can control them more. He, like me, is struck with moral dilemma's and things he doesn't want to feel and yet does, not wanting to deny his nature and yet also not wanting to become evil. He is my inner-hero/conscience figure, concerned with greater good and lesser evil, and protecting the persona by keeping the shadow at bay. My persona is Marguerite, just as she is in The Elusive Pimpernel. She has many duties, some of which conflict (such as, for instance, being a good friend and being a Christian, which makes being invited to a Pagan get-together by a bunch of your closest friends rather difficult). In her case, it is her loyalty to Percy and her trust of him. As to the Jade Atkins stuff, the Head Girl position represents the closeness to David (the Head Boy) I could never get. Jade I envied in Primary School, I guess she is the only major case of envy which was never rectified (the other cases of my envy were Megan, who stopped, sadly for her, being enviable, Claire Rayment, who some time later fell out with all her friends, and Charlie who I later discovered envied me, so I gave up on that one). Jade and I never got on in the infants; she was popular, and mean to me, and I wasn't really all that popular. Once my best friend at the time left me, after waiting all lunch for her, standing alone whilst she went to play with Jade. These kind of things don't hurt you in later years, but in dreams you remember them the same as they were when they were first committed. Although we were all right with each other in the juniors, she was always obnoxiously clever, being the only one to score above me in the 11 plus for our entire year. (The 11 plus being an elitist test schools in Kent inflict on their students to decide which secondary schools they can go to.) Christina later kept telling me stories about how her and Jade were such good friends, and as I, admittedly, was a bit of a bitch to Christina during Primary School (but heaven, do I regret it) this was also damn annoying.

Grandad and Ruth (plus Amy and Alex) gave me a t-shirt on which are the words "Jesus Loves You - But I'm His Favourite". I love it. I daren't wear it to Church but I will most definitely take it with me to Detling. They also gave me a game thing called a 'Bop it' which is incredibly fun for whoever is playing it, and incredibly annoying for everyone else, as it makes noises.

Midnight Mass was nice yesterday, if I haven't already said, although I kept singing the sexist words. Curse me for memorising most of the carols. Oh well, I shouldn't have used up all my deep comments on that dream - I can't think of any now.

Bye for now, (and a Happy New Year)

Helen

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